Authenticity and acceptance - the mask & the true self

I had two conversations this morning about authenticity and self-acceptance. Authenticity is simply about being true to oneself. But being authentic takes a degree of courage, because it may seem as if we will offend or anger someone else. It starts in childhood wanting to please our parents - to keep their love and ensure that we don't make them angry. So we create a protective layer or mask which allows us to survive in the face of disapproval and anger. This may be perpetuated in an abusive relationship or in a job which isn't congruent with our values.

Often these patterns of behaviour can be really incongruent with who we feel ourselves to be at the core. But it's important to remember that these patterns or masks served us in the past - they were the best thing we could do in the circumstances. And when we realise that a mask isn't serving us any more, we can let it go.

When it comes to self-acceptance, it can be about both who we truly are and the masks we have created. Because it was you who created that mask, so if you don't accept the mask, you also reject its creator. However you can say, "I recognise that I created this mask in order to feel safe, and I did a good job and it did keep me safe. And now I can let it go because it is no longer serving me."

The other conversation was about who I truly am. "What am I actually like? How can I find out? and will I even like myself?" My answer to this was "that's a journey we are all on." So it's a question of accepting yourself even when you're not sure what you are actually like behind that mask. 

But that's the easy bit. Because everyone has the same intrinsic value, which is 1. You either exist or you don't. If you exist you are 1, if you don't exist - well you would have a value of 0, but there's nothing to value if you don't exist! If you are reading this post, you have a value of 1, regardless of the mask you are wearing and what your true self is like!

If you're struggling to let go of old patterns or a mask that is no longer serving you, please do get in touch - I'd love to help. You can contact me on hello@sorrelpindar.co.uk