Does this feel familiar?
Emotional Ghosting: Do you ever find yourself switching off or becoming a 'high-functioning ghost' in your own living room?
The Performance of 'Fine': When someone asks how you are, does your "Survival Mask" answer "I’m fine" before the real you even has a chance to check?
The Efficiency Trap: Have you lost the ability to just be, in exchange for the constant, restless need to be productive?
The Invisible Wall: Does it feel like there's a glass partition between you and your partner - where they can see you, but they can’t quite reach you?
A Stolen Childhood: Do you look at your own children’s playfulness and feel a strange mix of protection and envy?
The Cost of Competence: Are you tired of being the "strong one" who never seems to need anyone else's support?
Making the Invisible Visible: How to Reclaim Your True Self from Your Survival Mask
Free Online Workshop, January 13th 2026, 12:00pm UK
New Year is often about adding more pressure. This January we're doing the opposite. We're looking at what you can strip away so that the person you've always been can finally emerge.
Most New Year’s resolutions are about building a 'better' version of yourself, but for the ex-boarder, the real work is about unbuilding the protective structures that no longer serve you.
This January, there's no need to add more to your plate. Instead by making visible the 'Survival Mask' you’ve been wearing for decades, you can make way for your True Self to lead the way.
The brilliance of the boarding school child
The mask you created at school to keep you safe is your survival personality. But it wasn't a mistake.
That mask was the creation of your True Self. It was a masterpiece of protection that has simply outlived its purpose.
It served you well when you were a child. It truly was fit for purpose.
But it's no longer serving you. It's like a blueprint which has shaped the way you live your life for decades. And it gets in the way of your well-being and your capacity for closeness in relationships.
Enter your name and email to receive the Zoom details for the workshop. If you have any questions, send me an email!
Making it 'visible': What we'll cover
This online workshop will be a strategic deep dive" into what lies behind the mask. During the hour we'll...
Map out the hidden rules of your childhood, which helped shape that blueprint and led you to conceal who you really are behind that mask.
Explore the "Invisible Wall" in your current relationships.
Identify the first steps to communicating from your True Self.
An invitation to the partners
If you're in a relationship with an ex-boarder, you may find yourself loving a person you can’t quite reach. You see their competence, but you also feel the "invisible wall" that goes up the moment things get too emotional or too close.
This workshop is for you, too. You aren't here to "fix" your partner; you are here to see the architectural blueprint of the world they were raised in. By making the invisible visible, you gain:
A New Language: Move away from "Why are you being like this?" toward an understanding of the Survival Mask in action.
The Map of the Wall: Understanding that the distance they create isn't a lack of love - it’s a legacy of protection.
A Path to Connection: Learning how to invite their True Self out of hiding in a way that feels safe for both of you.
Enter your name and email to receive the Zoom details for the workshop. If you have any questions, send me an email!
What people are saying...
Matthew
"I came to see Sorrel following some anger issues I was having after a bereavement, and the work that Sorrel has done with me has been transformative, to say the least. I feel much calmer in a considerably better place and certainly less angry than I ever did prior to the work that I started with Sorrel. Sorrel has an ability to hold a space, a reflective space for you, asking just the right amount of questions that encourage reflectivity and the opportunity to adjust your feelings or behavior accordingly."
B.L.
"I have just finished Sorrel’s six week course for the partners of ex-boarders. For years I have struggled alone, with the impact that early boarding has had on my partner of 40 years. Sorrel’s warmth and wisdom and insight was truly like balm to my soul. I felt validated, appreciated and understood."
Meg Roundell Greene
"I got so much value from that webinar you hosted - it's so interesting to dive into this! it gave me a very clear idea of what I was doing and why - and how to change it to have fewer disagreements (or at least have the disagreement but manage it in an emotionally mature and responsible way instead of reverting to old habits!)"
Building a "bridge" to community
This workshop is just the start. One week later, we launch The Tuck Shop - the first gathering of a new tribe for ex-boarders. This hour will give you a taste of this new community and ensure that you walk into that 'room' with your eyes wide open.
There is so much to be gained from travelling this path together, after years of trying to do it all alone.
About your host, Sorrel Pindar
I understand the architecture of the boarding school experience because I lived within its walls, and I spent the decades that followed wondering why, despite my outward success, my relationships were all a bit of a disaster.
Through my work on myself and with clients, I discovered that we don’t just ‘get over’ boarding school. We live inside a sophisticated Survival Mask that our True Self designed to keep us safe when we were children. My contribution to this field is helping ex-boarders and their partners move beyond mere ‘coping’ and into a more relational way of living.
I specialise in making the invisible visible: helping you recognise the specific blueprints of your survival personality so you can finally reconnect with the emotional, spontaneous, and authentic self that was left behind. I don’t just want you to survive your history - I want you to be fully present in your life today.