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The Survival Kit Workbook
Are you having difficulties in one or more of your relationships? If so it may be your survival kit which is causing the problem.
Maybe you're always trying to
prove that you're right
control your partner
show them just how awful they made you feel
Or perhaps you retaliate when you feel attacked or slighted, or you're prone to withdrawing either by slamming out of the house or burying yourself in your work or a project.
The thing is that whatever behaviour you're engaging in, it's simply part of your survival strategy.
We all develop behaviour patterns as children to help us feel safe, and they work reasonably well dueing childhood, but they let us down in adulthood.
So maybe your survival kit worked well during childhood, but it's no longer fit for purpose. But that's ok: It just needs a bit of an update.
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The Survival Kit Workbook
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What do you take with you when you go on an expedition? Passport and sunglasses? Or maybe an OS map and a compass. When you were a child, you might have taken your teddy, while Mum & Dad brought your sandwiches. You and I know that a teddy is not an essential part of a survival kit. But to a child it may seem like they can’t survive without it.
As children we all create our own ‘survival kits.’ And they don’t just include the teddy, they involve thoughts, feelings and behaviours which enable us to survive in a not-so-friendly world. This happens at an unconscious level, so we aren’t always aware of those survival traits coming into play in adulthood.
Many of us call this our ego or our character. I like to call it a survival kit because that is what it was what made for.
If you find some of your relationships difficult – with your spouse or partner, your parents or your children perhaps – it’s worth taking time to reflect on what behaviour patterns you might have brought with you from childhood, which are causing problems in adult life.
What do you have in your survival kit which might be getting in the way of healthy relationships? Do they include:
anxiety
a fear of abandonment
fear of judgement and its cousin, people-pleasing
a dysfunctional need for independence & self-reliance
or difficulty trusting people?
Fortunately you can update your survival kit. You have something wonderful: innate resilience & well-being, which enables you to change how you behave in relationships.
The Survival Kit Workbook will take you through a process of unpacking your survival kit and building a new one. Using a series of exercises it helps you to identify what you've brought with you from childhood and what you would like to put in its place.
About Sorrel Pindar
I am a trauma-informed, relationship & well-being coach. I work with people who have hit a road-block in their relationships, many of whom also struggle with stress, anxiety, fatigue, depression and PTSD.
After qualifying as an NLP Master Practitioner in 2017, I trained with 3 Principles coach, Jamie Smart, and qualified as a Certified Advanced CLARITY® Coach & Facilitator. I am also a licensed One of Many™ women's coach, bringing a more female approach to coaching.
I am also qualified as a Relational Life Coach with the Relational Life Institute so that I can work with couples as well as coaching 1-to-1.
I have a BSc and an MPhil in Psychology, and in the last six years I've realised that there is much to be gained by taking account of our spiritual nature - or what many of us call 'true nature.' This is the source of the creativity & compassion which enables us to heal from the inside-out.