At the age of 11 I went away to boarding school. It was one of those 'choices' where there really is no choice. My parents loved me, but they thought it would be the best thing for me. So I went. And it was a terrible experience for the first couple of years.

The behaviour patterns I learned at school helped me cope in an environment which was far from safe, one in which there was a lot of shaming.

What I subsequently learned was that those behaviour patterns may have made sense and kept me safe at school, but they let me down in adulthood and particularly in my intimate relationships.

The long shadow of boarding school (and of the suicide of my first boyfriend) was depression, lack of confidence and an inability to trust or be vulnerable in my relationships. It took a long time to realise that many of my most dysfunctional behaviours started at boarding school.

I am lucky. In 2020, six years after the breakdown of my marriage I met a man who shared my experience of boarding school and was as ready as I was to do relationships differently. This was the 'laboratory' and a safe space in which we could learn to be relational.

My own journey from childhood & adolescent trauma to the insights I gained in recent years took me to a place of growth and transformation which I would never have anticipated. The healing process took off exponentially in the context of a relationship where both my partner and I have been able to practise relational mindfulness. This creates the safety we need to notice when we get things wrong and change our behaviour.

Thus I came to the realisation that relationship coaching and relational mindfulness can be the engine of healing for many of us. This is what I would love to share with you. To find out more about how you can benefit from this approach, book yourself a Clarity Call!

Until the mid-90s I worked as a council officer in South London, in the field of crime prevention and civil liberties. After starting my family I re-trained as an osteopath, qualifying in 2002, and setting up in practice in Bedford.

In 2007, I trained as a Perrin Technique practitioner which enabled me to offer osteopathic treatment for chronic fatigue syndrome/ME. For the following 15 years until I retired from osteopathy, I worked with hundreds of people with ME/CFS, fibromyalgia and eventually long covid.  

Over the years of working with ME/CFS patients I realised that coaching could support the changes my patients needed to make for a full recovery. So in 2016 I commenced training in NLP (neurolinguistic programming) with Beyond NLP, qualifying as a Master Practitioner in September 2017.

I then went on to train in subtractive psychology with Jamie Smart, an internationally renowned writer, speaker, coach, trainer and consultant, and I eventually qualified as a Certified Advanced Clarity Coach and Facilitator. Since training with Jamie, I have trained with One of many™ to become a certified women's coach.

After completing my coach training, I focused on supporting clients who were seeking solutions for healing trauma. I came to understand the profound transformation that accompanies post-traumatic growth. And I discovered the power of 'healing in relationship.' This simply means doing trauma work whilst dealing with conflict and disconnection as a couple.

This led me to start training in late 2023 with the Relational Life Institute. Using Relational Life Coaching allows me to support clients in the process of healing within the container of their own relationships by allowing them to transform the relationship as well as their mental health.

The challenge for many people is to understand their own worth and that they deserve to love and care for themselves. Working with self-compassion coupled with a willingness to explore and experience difficult emotions forms the core of the work I do with my clients. This work is founded in the process of deepening the client’s grounding, as they come to the insights and realisations that enable them to connect with their own innate wisdom, resilience and well-being.

As we work together, you will find the clarity you’ve struggled to reach previously and an ability to achieve the insights you need to help you move forward. 

This results in:

• Increased confidence and self-belief

• Less overwhelm and more control

• Increased clarity

• Better connection with your inner “pilot light”

• Deepening connection with people you love

• A greater capacity for intimacy

• Living and working with purpose

• Re-setting the balance and prioritising well-being